feeling any better?

when he kept babbling about how he gets tested for Aids twice every year, I rolled my eyes and let out a stream of bored air. his hands moved around him in his typical girly fashion, made a skeptical face and said "but they keep on asking, why you want to get tested". he leans over, mimicing a judgemental look and says, " They ask, are you sexually active?". his voice gets higher in pitch as he continues "what da hell is their business if am sexually active!". at this point, I drop my head to the desk and roll my head so am not facing him. his voice acquires a worried tone as he says, "and I always have to lie and say I am travelling to south Africa"

For me, he was a childish pompous charachter. it was unbeilevable how he is showing up with the fact that he might be HIV positive! a pretenious girl, thats the exact signal he sends all over the room as soon as he opens his mouth, or moves, or walks or even sit down. he wasnt my "favourite" kind of person, to say the least. at the first couple of classes, a girl whispered to me that we have a gay on class. She mentioned his name, but I couldnt get the link at first.

I was late for class on wednesay. I opened the door quietly and tried to sneak in. I pointed to the nearest chair, which had a bag on it, and synched my lips in a "is this seat taken?" fashion. he looked at me and gave me a high five! I made my best to make a really annoyed face and said "is that you bag?". He shrugged his shoulders, and pointed to his bag. I took the next nearest chair, and ended right next to him. he passed on the attendans sheet and kebt his eyes fixed on my hands as i ticked next to my name. I bent over my bag to get myself a pack of mentos out and felt him glancing side ways at me. I turned to face him and said "mentos!".

It was his group presentation day about an NGO that defends human rights with special focus on homosexuals. they showed an interview with the NGO official, screened a part of yacoubian building, then showed students reactions when asked how they feel about NGOs protecting gay rights. and exactly after the guy who appeared to be having a one-word-dictionary with only the word "disgusting", came a black screen, then in white words I read "interview with an anonymous homosexual", his voice then came out of the speakers.

he was now setting by the front table. His forhead on the tablecloth and eyes fixed on the floor. the rest of the class, utterly transfixed, had their eyes fixed on him. All had obviously recongized his voice. my eyes croosed over scanning their faces. the first was giving him a nasty look, the second looked at me and gave me a bent smile and shrugged her shoulders. I saw confused eyes, shocked eyes, and laughing eyes. the professor, however, maintained an exceptionally neutral face.

after class, I was standing in the hall explaining to a girl how my history professor lost my paper. the girl was saying that i should do something he came over, casually touched my hands that are moving in enthusiasm in front of my face, and said"yes salma, you should do something". I turned to him, and he said" you can write a petition". The thought came flashing across my mind, "is he gauging my reaction?".

on my way home I saw him walking down the street. he had his ray-bans off and his eyes were more human. his typical fake air was gone. my eyes followed him as he walks, his massenger bag dangling by his side.